Well after three and half months of drug / alcohol / hooker abuse I am back in the land of the stupid skippy cunt. I’m not at all happy about this mind you…boarding ship back here was hardest thing I had to do since I last did a day of work….and who even knows when the fuck that was…

So much to tell you I just do not know where to start. Well I guess I’ll just pump you all full of useless info in true Jav style. So I set out on a journey to learn something about life about the universe about how Europe is far better than skippy land. Four months later with no leva to my name and not even a full beards growth you might ask but Javor what have you learnt about the world?
The answer…well nothing.
But Jav what did you learn about yourself? ….well also nothing.
but Javorat surely you discovered something? Anything?
Well cunts I’ll tell you this much. I didn’t learn nothing new about myself or the universe but I did learn this…COCAINE IS BEST SNORTED OFF CHEAP BULGARIAN PROSTITUTES ASS.
Lol.
Seriously… four months of party cunts. What did you expect? Some kind of enlightened return of the deli lama? You stupid skip cunts…you should know by now what you see with me is what you get. Hairy…balls….abusive…
What more could you want?
Anyone who expected me to return like someone who learnt a lesson can fuck it up their own asses for all I care. Why the fuck should I learn a lesson when you stupid skip cunts sat here drinking your shit four ex beer and talking about your rules…

I’m back for a good time so if anyone is looking for me I’ll be the cunt pimped out in best tight white pants that Bulgarian leva could buy. I’m dressing fucking sharp since being back in BG…I generally only get around in totally white outfits these days…well they were white when I bought them…not so much now
Such is life for a eastern European PIMP baby

WHATS UP CUNTS?

Long time no posts.  I know how much you all missed my random updates about the world.  But I am back and more full of European edukation than ever!

So it has become apparent to me in the last few weeks that Aussies are stupider than I first anticipated.  I mean.  Since travelling and partying in Europe I can see that life in Europe is so much….simpler.  People here are so much happier than skip cunts.  Its funny because I read peoples quotes in Australia about how they are having fun living their little lives and I KNOW I am having more fun than them.  Its sad for them to be living in such a non fun country.  I mean I went to shoot sniper rifle at dogs last week.  Cant do that in Australia now can you? DRAGUNOV baby!  Im sure there are anti fun rules in Skip land saying you cant the shoot the dog. This is practically national sport in BG.  That and doing coke.

At the moment I am staying in BARCELONA and now this city is not too bad apart from the spanish gipsys.  Admittedly there are less gipsys than what I had imagined.  I mean I thought 3 out of 4 spaniards were gipsies.  Its more like 2 in 4 now that I am here on the ground reporting from ESPAGNA.  I am back at my hotel room, which is commune living, 16 beds, one small room.  Everyone is out partying at the moment because its 2am and thats how we party in Europe.  I decided to come back to apartment and have quick wank.  Luckily there is no one in room but I probably would have had wank anyway.  Dont care really if someone had walked in because this is EUROPE baby.

Spanish women are hot too, but not as hot as the Polish.  Most countries I go to, I meet women of all countries by I always make stalk with the polish woman.  Its funny because they will smile with me and talk not like stupid aussie skip stuck up women.  Most of them do not want to make rape with me, well actually none of them do.  For example I met polish chickas in Barcelona and she resisted me somehow.  Not sure how, but thankfully she was not some stuck up skip aussie bitches.

Anyhow…time for a wank.

SKIP - I could tell you all about the REAL WORLD.  But you just wont understand.  Its too much for your little mind.  My best attempt to communicate this to you would be this.  

REAL WORLD is no rules faken.  Wodka.  German Sausage huts.  Traktors.  Pretty girls who smile back yet still dont talk to me.  FOOTBALL - with a ROUND BALL.  Driving DRUNK.  Men are men are men - hairy and masculine. And we dont care if the chix wont talk to us.  We just keep each other warm.  Pretty hair (must be excess) on woman or on man.  PARTY non stop.  You get it SKIP?  No…..Didnt think you would.  You live in non real world.

I think its time for me to perform some more education on you STUPID FUCKING SKIPS.  It seems I am constantly repeating myself about the superiority of Europe and European women over your stupid country and women.

Below is a short list of things I find myself repeating most days, from this point on I should just refer you cunts to this list.  Mind you I will always take opportunity to rant about my favorite subject as well.

1. The other day I was going to shout my mate to use of chix in brothel.  My stupid skip friend asks…but Iavor, your mate has a girlfriend.  ARGH! Why is my patients constantly tested faken? What skip doesnt understand is that my mate is EUROPEAN.  Things are different in Europe.  If he wants to use brothel then he can do whatever the FUCK he wants.  I wouldnt expect you to skips understand
2. For the 5 million trillionth time.  European women are hotter than stupid skip women.  For starters, ALL OZZIE, UK, USA chix think they are queens.  EUROPEAN women are not like that.  You see they even smile at me in the club.  Not like stupid aussies.  Dont get me wrong I have not actually picked up one chix since on tour but its just the smile thing.  You understand skip?  You are not EUROPEAN I wouldnt expect you to understand.
3. football is life.  life is football. But its more than just that.  Some stupid skip cunts just do not understand.  This is most definitely a EUROPEAN thing. You skip cunts would not understand.  MIGHT I ADD - football is with round ball where you only use your feet faken.  thats why we call it FOOTball. LOL. You stupid fucks. We dont use our hands other than for giving reach around in change room after match.  Well it okay to use hand in FOOTBALL if your name is Thierry Henry.  But you wouldnt know who he is.  Cos its a EUROPEAN thing.
4. When I travel I am well within my right to call myself a SKIP.  This is because it makes me sound exotic to local women.  Mind you this has not exactly helped my cause of picking up women but still its a EUROPEAN thing. You will probably not ever understand this.
5. I have a hair fetish.  So its fair to understand that if chix do not excess hair than I will not like them.  Lets compare EUROPEAN women to stupid skips.  stupid skips wake up, tieing their hair up and go to work.  EUROPEAN woman must spend hours on her hairs before leaving apartment / farm.  All skip womens do not understand how to really beautiful.  So when I smile at EUROPEAN woman who does not look like feminist movement, they smile back.  Now in Ozzie pufta land if I smile at woman she returns anger like I am trying to rape with her.  Sometimes this is the case but not always.  Ahhhh I wouldnt expect them to understand….

Since being on Traktor Tour 2k12 something has occured to me.  I am not a mad wog party cunt.  I am actually more skip than anything now.  I cant keep up with drinking / partying and level of enthusiam as my fellow wogs.  So now I fear you cunts have tainted my awesomeness.

Its funny.  In Australia Im a mad wog party animal cunt.  In Europe Im a mad  skippy pufta.  Basically I dont like to fit in anywhere I go, so I will sell myself as complete opposite of what the publik wants. HAHA.  LOL.  Thats kind of funny.

So anyway I was racing some cunt in a paddock in our Traktors the other day.  I was returning from Gdansk after football match.  We bet some guy there that Spain would win, he bet loan of his Traktor against use of my sister.  I dont actually have sister, I have only brother, but hey, little bro is lucky we won that bet.  So we are driving home in tratkor we won in bet and we started drag race against this pufta.  I think we started to get edge on him, but then he decided to plough his field.  Actually I am not certain he knew there was a race on.  Either way we win.

You should remember my story of how I can drive in Bulgarian precision driving team.  Well after arriving in Poland I met a guy on side of highway who was the BEST driver I have met in my life.  If I can drive for Bulgarian team, this guy could drive for WORLD team faken.  Guy looks a little gipsy but whatever faken. I would never hold that against someone especially if they drive this well…I even think he was a cool Romanian cunt.

I was going to take traktor or walk to Gdansk for football match, but I hitch hiked my way in this guys TRUK all the way.  We were doing Wodka shots the whole way, that is party faken.  You stupid skip cunts wouldnt be able to party like this because of your stupid laws and rules.  You should all consider how much better people drive drunk after watching the video I took in the truk.

Anyway cunts check this video out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cVSDAZfZ6k&feature=player_embedded

WOT cunts

You wont believe it. After that night at west end we went to a bar at high rise. Awesome views. Some cocktails. Then people wanted to go home but there was this bulgarian guy (who’s a banker) and he wanted to go clubbing and drinking (we’re talking 1:30 am) … so I said fuck it lets go.

His favourite club was full so they didnt let us in … and it was getting quite late (clubs close at 3am there) … so I suggested we go to gentlemans bar  … and so he was VIP at this place and he went. The bouncer greeted him (greek guy) … hugs … whassup … VIP entry . Inside you won’t believe it …. HOTTEST chix i have ever seen. They were ALL HOT … hand picked … MAN …. I fell in love this Romanian chick …. she had perfect body and most beautiful face … hahaha they were quite few romanians there  best export. He reckons there are SOME bulgarians too but we didnt meet any  … he warned me not to take too much money out as I would spend them all inside … lol … and i did … bEST 150 QUID i have ever spent 

So yesterdays post about Olympic has stirred some people interests.  For some reason people care about my interest in Olympics games?  Why does it matter faken?  Bulgaria win turn up, dominate and go home.  Thats just how it will be.

Some anglo fucks in skippy land raised a stupid point with me.  But Iavor, there are many more games at Olympics than just those two.  My response to their stupid skippy claims would be.  1 - eat shit.  2 - READ BETWEEN THE LINES FARKEN.

You stupid Aussie skip cunt idiots really need more EDUCATION.  You see weight lifting and wrestling are inbuilt into psyche of Bulgarian male.  From early age you are taught to get close and personal with your fellow man and to prove dominance.  I guess weight lifting was just a side effect of wrestlers wanting to get more stronger and dominate other men in the arena of man on man wrestle.  Pretty much most of society can be related back to origins of wrestling faken.  

This whole topic reminds me of favorite book from boyhood.  I even take photo for you to see.  I brought this book along with me to TT2K12 to read before bed….it helps me to relax

Guess what cunts?  Im in LONDON FAKEN.  Im gonna be using capitle letter A LOT faken - this is to express my pure BULGARIAN excitement.

I have been pretty much non stop educating the UK since landing 72 hours ago.  It actually started on long haul flight over.  I wore my MANCHESTER UNITED shirt on flight over to prove how loyal fan I am.  I was sitting beside some stupid skip on the way over.  He was lucky enough that I was able to educate him on the way over about how the UK works, he was apparently trying to sleep but whatever cunt.  This is TRAKTOR TOUR 2K12 faken.  Anyway cunt beside me got to smell me at my best.  3 days of flight with showers, but I didnt change my shirt once faken.  LOL.  

So since landing everything I see is about OLYMPICS faken.  FAKEN - London Olympics ads everywhere.  On Tube faken.  On radio faken.  In cab faken.  In airport Faken.  EVERYWHERE Faken - what dont you understand about it.  Not that you stupid skip cunts would understand what Olympics is.  Ill have to educate you.  This is pretty much where all the best weightlifters and wrestlers get together to compete faken.  There are some other minor anglo sports, but this is what its all about BABY.  BULGARIA is favorite to win at least 1 medal in each event.  This is how I see the medal tally looking at the end of the olympic:

GRECO ROMAN MAN ON MAN - BULGARIA 100. AUSTRALIA 0.

WEIGHT LIFTING - BULGARIA 100.  AUSTRALIA 0.

HAHAHHAHAHAH.  You stupid skips.  IM SO CONFIDENT I HAVE EVEN INCLUDED TALLY ON THIS BLOG.

Anyway CUNTS this is IAVOR signing off for first T2K12 from my official pad in LONDON.  BELOW PIC IS OF ME LIVING IT UP BG STYLE IN LONDON:

Just thought i should let you stupid skip cunts know that posting will be a bit quiet for a little while now that Traktor Tour 2012 is underway.

Check out the awesome plane i’m traveling on today!  Only 14hours from Istanbul to Sofia farken!

Jealous cunts??

The hostess on board are so hott.  I ask cute one for a little sugar and he give me this.  Stupid cunt - doesn’t he know i never use condom???

See ya later cunts.

Sup skip fucks?

Some people have been asking - But Iavor how can you tell gypsy when you meet one?  How should I know to bash him or not to bash him. Its easy faken, if you follow Uncle Iavors checklist for dealing with gypsies:

Uncle Iavors Checklist for dealing with Gypsies

1 - He/she appears to be gypsy

If you answered yes to any of the above items in the checklist then bashings should start immediately.  Unless you need your house cleaned.  Then just force them to clean you house.  Just be sure to act quick before they can put gypsy curse on you.

If you are unsure whether or not the person you are dealing with is gypsy faken, then here is example photo.  Key features to look for are

1 - shifty eyes

2 - fake jewelry

ahhh…times are tough in post commune Bulgaria.  Some lay offs at the traktor plant…but I am about to depart on TraktorTour 2012 baby.  Bring it on!  Immigration will even be there tomorrow for my ‘going away’ party.  You should all look forward to many educational stories while I am travelling…

old enough to fuck!

Every now and then I remember a story from some time ago and I like to share it faken.  I call them stories from the Bulgarian Golden Vault (or BGV as everyone would already probably know).  These stories only come on special occasion though, birthdays, easter, name days, gypsy bashings, or my personal favorite - self abuse days. So sit back you stupid fucks and be educated on the ancient art of broth-els.

Some years ago I was travelling in Eastern Europe with some stupid skip fucks and we ended up in taxi late one night. We were drunk and we were young, and we did not speak the local language.  We told our cab driver we would like to visit night club to go dance with chix faken.  Not sure how well this translated as after we started driving we saw the city turn into suburbs and then the suburbs turn into bush faken. Not that there is bush in Europe faken, its the only way I can get you stupid skips to picture European country side. European bush is kinda like stupid skip saying ‘out back’ only not as stupid. That reminds of another story faken.  You stupid skips say ‘out back’ but you fucks cannot even speak English proper.  The correct way of saying this should be ‘out the back’.  Out back just doesnt make sense…..anyway back to BGV…So we are driving along and one of the skips in back seat starts to freak out faken saying how we are going to get killed in Eastern European bush/outback/outtheback. 

Eventually we arrive at some house.  Not looking like a night club at all, but there is a BIG bald bouncer standing at the door.  The other guys were starting to worry but not me.  This is ADVENTURE baby.  Besides by now I have pretty good idea where we are as I have seventh sense for broth-els. So I go inside, I walk in first of course and see a small bar and many women in lingerie faken.  Most of the chix were not that hot but I got talking to cool local dude who could speak english faken.  Some of the chix were trying to get my attention but couldnt they see I am having a beer talking to cool Eastern European cunt! How rude.

As time goes by I give in and choose 1 chix to go upstairs with.  As I was walking up the stairs, something didnt feel right.  Something was not right at all.  I knew I had to do so something.  Then it occured to me.  How can I have MMF with only one M? I need to act fast.  Lucky I had been chatting up local guy, so I went back downstairs and invited local guy upstairs with the chix.  I tell random guy I want MMF and of course he accepts.  Now that is party faken.  Eastern European style!